I was supposed to…
Life has a way of re-writing our script. Kids get sick with no warning. Meetings are cancelled. Event schedules change, and we find ourselves saying, “I was supposed to…”
My life for the past 20+ years as been filled with “I was supposed to…”
I was supposed to be a geophysicist. I discontinued the program and began my journey into vocational ministry.
I was supposed to graduate from seminary a single-woman and work on staff at a large church. I got married and never left town.
I was supposed to go to work once the kids went to school. I homeschooled for six years.
I was supposed to write a blog weekly. I played games with my youngest as I heard the Lord whisper to my heart, “Enjoy him. He won’t be here much longer.”
Each time I thought I was “supposed to,” the Lord surprised me with another opportunity.
Abram was supposed to stay in Ur and run the family business. He loaded up and journeyed to a place the Lord would show him instead. He wandered over foreign soil for decades because the Lord surprised him with a promise, land and more kids and grandkids than he could count. It was a promise that looked like it may never be fulfilled. Finally, by 100 he had two kids. One he had sent off into the wilderness and another he would be asked to sacrifice to measure his faith.
“I was supposed to” so often seems like, looks like, and especially feels like God taking something from us or toying with us to test our faith. But that is not the heart of God.
“I was supposed to” is an opportunity to live into the reality that we are not our own. Jesus is Lord. This is our confession as children of God. When Jesus is Lord, He is ours and we are His. He is never taking something from us, never toying with our faith. Instead, He is always offering us the fullness of life He alone can give. He is always for us, never against us. His heart is victory for each one of us, so He invites us to live more and more in Him because He alone brings us life and freedom. When we declare “Jesus is Lord,” He invites us live into every “supposed to” He has for you and me.
So we walk by faith declaring, “I was supposed to….but the Lord surprised me with something even greater.”